It was so quiet in the royal living quarters, only the occasional wave of a feeler could be heard. The sound resembled that of a feather floating through the air. No human could hear it – only a bee. Drucilla B. Queen sat on her throne straightening her proboscis and rolling it back up again. She and Dalton both stared at the empty chair in facing them.
Drucilla: He’s not coming, Dalton. Who would have the nerve to stand up a queen?
Dalton: Perhaps something happened, your Majesty. Perhaps something out of his control.
Drucilla: I believe something will happen to him if he doesn’t show up in the next ten minutes.
Dalton wondered what that might be. The queen had been talking about chopping off people’s heads a lot lately. Not that she would ever do it, but he wished she would stop mentioning it. Arranging that interview with the Queen of Hearts had definitely been his biggest mistake yet. What had he been thinking of? Clearly, he had not done his homework and researched this interviewee in depth.
Today’s guest he had already met in person. He seemed like a nice man and a rather serious gentleman. It surprised him more than anyone that the man was so late. They waited fifteen more minutes then gave up. With a sigh, he reached over to put the chair back in the corner of the chamber and banged heads with someone who was sitting there:
Voice: Ow! Ow! Ow! What are you doing?
Drucilla (staring at the empty chair): Who is that?
Voice: I am the person you invited for an interview today.
Drucilla: Why can’t I see you?
Voice: Don’t you know who I am?
Dalton had recovered enough to tap the queen on the shoulder. Without needing to be asked, Drucilla followed him into a corner of the chamber for a private conference.
Dalton (whispering): You told me you had read the book, your Highness.
Drucilla (whispering back): Well, I’ve almost finished it.
Dalton waved his feelers.
Drucilla: Alright, I looked at the cover. Why?
Dalton: Because then you would know to whom you are speaking.
Drucilla: Why don’t you just tell me?
Dalton (sighing deeply): He’s the invisible man.
Drucilla: He’s the what?
Dalton: The Invisible Man.
Drucilla (blinking at him as if he had a third eye): Dalton, I refuse to interview someone I cannot see. Why did you invite him?
Dalton: I thought he might be interesting.
Drucilla: So what are we going to do now?
Dalton opened his mouth to answer but the queen cut him off.
Drucilla: I have an idea. (whispers in his ear)
Dalton nods, then signals two of the ladies of court, who leave the chamber. Drucilla pulls him back into the huddle.
Drucilla: Does this invisible man have a name?
Dalton: Griffin.
The queen suddenly turned around to go back to her throne and slammed into something so hard, she lost her balance and sat down on the floor instead.
Voice (sounding a bit dazed): Pardon me, Madame. That was very clumsy of me. Are you alright?
Drucilla: (angry): What is the meaning of this, young man? What were you doing standing right behind me instead of in this chair?
Voice: I’m terribly sorry. I was only curious to know what …
Drucilla: You were curious? So curious that you eavesdrop on the conversations of others? I don’t care for spying, Griffin. Do you know the penalty for that in this beehive?
Dalton desperately hoped she would not say to have one’s head chopped off.
Drucilla: It is ten days in jail with half-rations.
Griffin: I see. That does not sound too harsh.
Drucilla: Don’t think that just because you are a guest, I would hesitate to lock you up. This is no way for a guest to behave in my beehive.
Griffin: I am sorry. I forgot my manners.
Drucilla: You certainly did. Now go and sit in the chair and don’t move until I say you can.
Griffin (a moment later): I am in the chair now.
Drucilla reached out to see if he was telling the truth. Sure enough, he was sitting in the chair. The two ladies of court returned carrying a huge bucket between them. On a barely noticeable nod from the queen they went up to the guest and poured its contents over his head.
Griffin: Ah! What’s that?
Drucilla: It’s honey. What else do you think we would find in a beehive?
The honey did its job. Starting at the crown his head, a man slowly began to emerge where they had seen nothing before. The two ladies of court smeared the honey onto the blank spots as well until a complete man sat before the queen looking like a naughty pupil in the principal’s office.
Drucilla (eying the man up and down carefully): Dalton, this man is not wearing any clothes.
Dalton: No, your Majesty.
Drucilla: Is it normal for a human to appear naked before his queen?
Dalton: I do not believe so, your Highness.
Drucilla: What do the humans call that?
Dalton: I believe the term is “indecent exposure”.
Drucilla: Griffin?
The young man now coated with honey nodded his head.
Drucilla: Do you know the term “indecent exposure”?
Griffin: I do, your royal Majesty.
Drucilla: And what is the penalty for that among humans?
Griffin (not being able to hold back a giggle): I … I don’t know, your Highness. (another embarrassed giggle) Humans would most likely have my head chopped off.
The man regretted saying this even as the words tumbled out of his mouth.
Drucilla (holding her head high): Then you should thank your lucky stars, Griffin, that I am a bee. And being a bee, I have decided to uninvite you. There will be no interview today. Dalton and the ladies of court will escort you out of my beehive. I never want to see you here again. Agreed?
Griffin (fixing his gaze on the floor): Whatever you wish, your Highness. I apologize again for my very rude behavior.
Drucilla gave him a curt nod, and Griffin knew the queen was being extremely lenient with him. Overcome by his good fortune, he promised himself never to spy on anyone ever again. As far as anyone can tell, he never has.
At least no one has ever seen him.
